Thursday, January 9, 2014

A Humble Report from the Woods

I gotta say, this last week has been humbling. Not just for me, but for haberdasheries all around the tri-state area. Not only do you not need daily reports to set off on a four-game winning streak, but you also don't even need a tie! Who knew? If it's all right with you, though, I'll continue to wear one while I write the reports.

Here are some notes from the last week:

- My god, was it cold. What started out as a simple existential, soul-searching retreat to the northern woods turned into mid-July at Vostok Station. Just my luck.

- I'm not getting the full story, but it seems like there's some controversy involving traffic on the George Washington Bridge. I'm not sure why this is a big deal -- there's always traffic on the GWB. But there are ways around it. If you really want to get on the bridge in heavy traffic, all you have to do is take Lemoine Avenue past Fort Lee High School and McDonald's and then sneak onto the on-ramp to the bridge right in front of the EZ Pass lanes in the middle of that whole nightmare entrance. I know you're probably confused, but any real Jersey guy knows this trick. I can email you a sketch if you need it.

- I'm staying in the woods for a little bit longer. I'm getting closer and closer to the true nature of my self. I'm stripping away my ego, super-ego, and all that other nonsense and really zeroing in on my core.

- Oh yeah, basketball. I guess just keep doing what you're doing. Paul Pierce at the 4, Livingston at the 2, running your offense through Mirza -- sounds good to me.

- What the hell is Vin Baker doing in North Korea? He's a good guy and I hope he gets out of there in one piece.

I'm on day three of a fast, so no pithy food comments today. We'll be in touch.

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