Friday, December 6, 2013

Daily Report - 12/6/2013

Holy hell. That was one of the saddest displays of Nets basketball that I have ever seen. And this is coming from the guy who coached the team to an 0-17 start a few years ago.

Seriously, you made the Knicks look like an actual respectable basketball team last night, like the Sixers or the Celtics or something. They actually played like they liked each other. I mean, Melo had 6 assists! 6! (Did you give him some pointers before the game?)

Anyway, here are some random notes:

- If anyone asks, I'll take the blame for Shumpert. Yesterday in my notes I said to take it easy on him IF you were up by a lot late in the game, but that might have been too complex of a note for a rookie coach like yourself. From now on, just defend every professional basketball player as well as you can at all times.

- I mentioned my brown suede shoes earlier in the week. It's the craziest thing, I was eating a turkey sandwich yesterday and it just popped into my head that I actually left them in the cabinets by the hot tub and not the ones underneath the DVD player. Mind checking on that?

- The Knicks shot 71% in the first quarter. 71%! You really look like you could use a defensive assistant with NBA head coaching experience. (Joke! A wise man from Queens once said, "I guess I laugh to keep from crying.")

- I'll say it again -- You're not doing yourself any favors with that beard. Maybe you're going for the scruffy Euro look, but you really don't have the face for it. You're not a bad-looking guy by any means, but it's not just not working out.

- About that Bargnani/Garnett situation, tell KG to text me what Bargs said. I don't speak Italian myself, but don't forget, I'm from North Jersey. Let's just say, I know a guy who knows a guy.

That's all I got for now. I'm gonna go make a Spanish omelette. 

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