Friday, December 13, 2013

Daily Report - 12/13/2013

Before we start, I have a procedural question. You had a game last night, a game tonight, doesn't it seem a little weird that some of these reports will concern two games, while others are just me pontificating on eggs and coffee? Could a day like today earn me a day off or get me a couple thousand extra bucks? I know you're really not the person to go to, but Billy is not responding to my texts and I can't figure out how to work that plasma phone that Prokhorov gave us to get in touch with him. Run it up the flagpole and see what you find out.

I'm obviously not gonna get an answer before I send this report out, so here are some notes:

- So, nice little three-game winning streak you have there. I gotta say, you did a great job beating an exhausted team in the middle of a massive road trip and coming off an emotional win less than 24 hours earlier. Joke! That was a quality win.

- As for Detroit tonight, it's a similar situation as to what I was saying about Doc yesterday. I got a special place in my heart for these guys. I could tell you just what embarrassing childhood memory to bring up to make Andre Drummond cry. I could tell you what common woodland animal Greg Monroe has an irrational, debilitating fear of. But I just can't do that to my guys. You're gonna have to beat them playing old-fashioned, hard-nosed basketball.

- One tip I got, let Josh Smith and Brandon Jennings make their first couple shots and don't be afraid to go down big in the first quarter. Their confidence will be high, they'll keep shooting, and, sooner or later, their averages will catch up with them. Worst case scenario, this strategy backfires and you're, what, three games out of fourth place in the East?

- I'm pretty excited for the snow tomorrow. I got my Radio Flyer all waxed up. I do need a scarf and some better gloves, though. Maybe I'll stop by Nordstrom.

That's it for now. I'm gonna get some homemade hot chocolate mix ready for the weekend.


  1. These are fantastic, but I can't stress enough how much hate you on the bench, how terrible a coach you are/were, and how happy I am you got canned from another job. keep these going though

  2. I can't tell if you understand that this isn't actually Lawrence Frank...

    1. lol trying to feed into it. The writer is very funny and I hope he continues to do this, but I cant stand the real Lawrence Frank. I was trying to portray both of those thoughts, while keeping the writer in character